You within you.

My kid hears this question all the time. Everybody asks him about this. It is either the start of a conversation or the end of it. It is the start but not the topic. If it is the end, then it would be the reason why the conversation ended. The question was important, but he never had a good answer for that.

But today he said, "mama, some stranger asked me about my dream, and I said the same answer as always. But unlike my uncles and aunts, he talked to me about my dream only". I did not understand even a word he said. I was wondering who this stranger was, why he was talking to my kid and leaving the child with an enthusiasm that even his mother could not comprehend. I asked my boy to explain what happened. 

"Mama, a man came to me and asked. Boy, what is your dream? I said, I don't know, Sir. I am not sure what I want to be. It is confusing. The man told me that he doesn't want to know what I want to become or what I will become. He wants to know what do I dream about every morning. What is that dream which I see every morning." 

I could not suppress my curiosity. I asked my kid, "Do you see any dreams every day. ? " "Mama, I am not sure if it is a dream. I never thought of it as a dream. I used to wake up seeing it and never realized that it was a dream." he said. I asked him to continue. He said, "I realized that I have a dream that I see every morning when this man asked me specifically about it." He asked, "What is that dream that wakes you up every day ?" I said, "It is vague. I saw a big platform. It was partly lit. Focus lights were there. I was standing on a stage. I was talking about my experiences. I was giving an oration on that stage. I was talking to a big audience. They seemed to be motivated and inspired by my speech. I saw the lights falling on my face. I saw the lights rotating and a big audience was visible to me. I paused for a while. I looked at the audience. I saw many people. I saw my family, friends, teachers, relatives and many other faces. After a few seconds, I heard a big applause from the audience. I was feeling happy. I was smiling. That is how I wake up every day." The man said, "This is what exactly you want to do. You know that what you will be doing is something big. The big platform represents it. It is partly lit. You are not sure what you are going to do. But you are searching for it. When the light rotates, it will be clear to you. When you are on that right platform, you will get the exact idea of what you want to do. Thus, the audience who is going to receive the fruit of your hard work will be visible to you. But you have to climb the stairs of that platform. You know what you want to do in your life needs hard work and sacrifice. There will be a waiting period after your hard work. There is a pause. You will have no idea how it will turn out. But take a deep breath and wait. It is going to touch many people's life. You will see them shedding tears of happiness in the end. Then you can give away that beautiful smile to the applauding audience." 

"Who is this man.?", I asked my child. But he knew nothing.

But I knew who it was because he was telling me about the story in the morning while he was getting ready to go to school and his day just got started.

Let the kids dream and talk to themselves. Because later they will realize that it is no longer unreal.

PS : For those who are wondering if I have a kid; I am a little kid inside. Doctor says I will be dead if he removes it.

A walk in the woods.

It is true that somethings are beautiful if untold and is also a test of time.

She became younger day by day and her thoughts became clear like a crystal. She selected a different path, a walk backward. The intention was not to reminisce the old memories but to caress the sensations once she had felt and once she had enjoyed.
 Dreams were more clear and continuous. They appeared as sequels. She was never afraid of dreams. In fact, she was carrying her dreams along with her. She believed in those without a smidgen of doubt. Everything was being observed keenly and innocently. Beauty was not far. She was entrusted with love. She was free to learn.  Her thoughts were not interrupted but interpreted by herself. There was a flow, a constant copious  flow. She was neither floating nor sinking, she was flowing. By all means FLOW. 

Walking backwards, picking up the stones that she had playfully thrown away, rereading the symbols that she had tried to draw on many curios, staring at the trees that had waved at her years ago, trying to savor the attar of mystery and wonder she realizes that those days are like the wind. It never comes back like the same. 

The Purple Days of my Life


If you have a will to do something, you will or someone else will find you a way. Even your small prayers will be answered later, if you ask it like a child. Somebody is listening to you from somewhere.

A feel of love and gratitude fills me as I realize that I still hoard that old purple waste basket that looks after my literary skills and cluttered thoughts. Yes it has been with me all the time whenever my hormones rush and I start scribbling and throw it away in the bin. I share my enthusiasm and eagerness to enjoy the spirit of independence with that tiny purple bin.

So, the joy that I am about to share would make my purple friend happier than any one else in the world.

Series of optimistic poems about the crave for independence and experiences were found boring for me and my purple pal. One day, we heard a talk from the downstairs about a US trip - a trip to Obama's place. Ohh.... wait.. To Newyork, Oh wait again. To Nayagra. It sounded like a one month plan. !
Parents' were planning to trip to the nation of United States for two months, leaving their children behind.

Ha.....................................

It was not the fact that I would miss homely food that was worrying me in the first place. It was neither the thoughts of "where to stay" nor the nightmares that ran inside my head. It was a mere glance at my purple buddy that turned out.

Finally the day has come. Like Aisha Banerji in Wake Up Sid, I packed my little dreams along with my stuff. Till that day world was just a painting that was bought by my parents but now i have a blank canvas and I buy the paints and I paint my own town red.

I stayed at more than eight different places. Train, bus, car, scooty, night, chat, books, films, cooking, job, interview and Happiness. From one district to another, from one friend to many friends, from a day to each moment I enjoyed my life. Two months passed like two beautiful and rich period of my life with my friends. I drove alone amid the darkness. The decision where to stay was made by me. Chatters in the hostel stayed up all the night. Exams were dealt with ease. A new city became visible to me. I cant believe I missed a lot simply because I was afraid of missing it later.

The two months that made me laugh and aspire was a great opportunity for me. One day or other you will have to face the world alone. I am not saying that those two months made me an adept to face the world but it revealed a different view of this world. Girls usually lack such opportunities just because many think that it is safe inside home. Sadly, the fact is that it is precarious if you keep staying inside.I know many adults have their own sensible reasons to make an argument at this moment. But please keep it aside. If you trust what you have taught your children then no need to worry about them. The trust in your children is in fact the trust in yourself. Every individual takes time to learn. So children, begin learning as soon as possible.

Now, while reading out this piece of my life loud, I here many young girls whispering to their purple companions. I am sure that your friend is indeed listening to you.

KINDNESS

I would like to narrate a story through this poem.It's about ...Just read it yar..

When you walk on the pavement, if you see a poor li'l girl

sitting under a street lamp,'begging for happiness'

And if you spare some change and a smile for her,

then you are kind,

On the way back from your work, if you see that girl

still sitting there, and if you spend some time with her,

then you are kind,

If you ask her where her home is, and 'locate' it,

then you are becoming kind again.

In the next morning when you surprise her

with a cute li'l frock, you are kind,

In the evening if you argue with the psychopathic person, whom

she calls 'pa', about her schooling,

and the next day if rescue her to an orphanage,

and make frequent visits,

........

i know......

you can be more kind,

On one fine day if you drive your car with her,

to many wonderful places where she has never been to,

and buy curios for her and...

while returning if you buy two meals and

when she is lying down on the front seat beside you,

if you reveal that her trifles had been packed and

loaded in the car....

i understand that she is going to get

the most kind lady as her sister,

i also understand that god is not that cruel

to let you be alone ...........

 .............

i donnoo....whether i can find such a lady..

but i know there is such a God.

:-)

After installing ubuntu 10.10 desktop version on my new system along with windows7 with the expectation to have the wired internet connection without any trouble both in windows and linux i got stuck again without internet access.
I switched to windows again for internet,blaming my inefficiency.
After two days got an insight to check the firewall settings.My bad!!that was the click.That was the problem dear friends.

If you find the network manager icon showing everything related to internet conenection is perfect but the internet access, just try this command in the terminal.

>>sudo ufw disable

This will disable the firewalls enabled.

AN AUTOGRAPH FROM WAYANAD

It would be embarrassing to pass by a person with the doubt in mind that the person is a familiar film star.We may slow down then and throw some innocent glances at her repeatedly.On realizing that we were right  we may look down at our wrist watch to suppress our excitement. In-fact the trekking in Chembra was something like that.I have read the name Chembra somewhere in my geography text along with Anamudi and Western ghats.I was getting embarrassed and excited while scaling this beautiful and familiar star.

                         

She remains as the second highest peak in western ghats respecting her height of 2100m from sea-level.When i was in wayanad from the getgo itself the heights of Chembra was compelling me for a conspiracy to scale it.As planned, with my friends i started the trekking in Chembra.A guard was there with us for guidance.He described the peak to be one of the most biologically diverse forest in asia.He told that it was a place warned by the nature many times by landslides and heavy rain.That soil and wind have spoiled the pages of many 

life-books.I felt a lump of cold air stuck in my throat.I refused to make a sudden move.The guard thankfully and proudly told that Chembra  has its own pharmacy within.Chembra moutain is the abode of many special and rare medicines and highly poisonous drugs too.I gave a congratulating glance to the peak.We reached the heart shaped lake in the peak.It is a natural fresh-water lake and something symbolic.
Climbing up is pretty difficult enough to feel jealous about the people coming down.Luckily i found a hand to hold safely. The lovely Chembra was providing its own green clothing and wide shoulder to lift me up.I climbed up enjoying the spirit of team work.

Pushing and pulling many small pebbles to pretty huge rocks we found our target.The 2100m high chembra peak point.wow!!!.........
The clouds were waiting to give us a handshake for our brave effort.Their innocent white color was also reminding about the humility one should have even when holding a high position.After the conversation with the clouds we bade adieu with Chembra giving a kiss on her forehead.The clouds accompanied us waving till the first declination.We descended the heights cuddling the vegetations...
Now lying on my bean bag, ruminating the memories of wayanad i find something - an autograph from wayanad in my one-paged autograph book.

me????

I'm a girl who respects all kinds of emotions. I expect forgiveness because I still believe that I have not lost my innocence...I like to learn...analyse...but don't want to conclude...Because life is full of surprises and miracles.